Lordy that's a heavy title for a blog post! But I guess you all know slightly where I might be coming from
The fact that the 'festive' display has been in the supermarket since early September, that the biggest independent craft fair in Cornwall ran during the first weekend of November, that black Friday (urgh!) is almost upon us and that some of those around me seem to be just about done with their Xmas shopping is giving me the slight edge of creeping anxiety as, like many, I am a long way from finishing buying for my nearest and dearest. Between now and the big day I have a LOT of balls to juggle.... events to attend to, sales online to make and a gazillion candle wicks to snip. Such is life, and I'm not complaining. But what I AM doing is reaching for the oils as I feel my sanity start to unravel and my mood begin to plummet under the weight of expectation.
So i've dug out my old Xmas planning journal to remind myself of what works to keep neurospicey brain sane:
- If like me you're a little scatty then PLANNING is key .... lists, spreadsheets, whatever floats your boat. Make a quick list of who you need to buy for, budget and tick off how much has been spent on what. Othewise you might find a huge pile of presents in a box and have no idea who they are for, and that you've spent £500 on one of your kids and only 50p on the others
- EXPECTATIONS. The sound of that word makes me physically shudder, so please just remind yourself, daily if need be, that Christmas does NOT have to be a perfect shiny baubel from start to finish. You WILL forget something but it doesn't really matter. Lets face it, if the crackers end up being bought last minute and don't colour co-ordinate with your 'theme' it's not life or death. We're sold a lot of visual perfection by the socials... ignore and detach if you can.
- SELF CARE and MINDFULNESS. The soundest bit of advice out there. If you are the head honcho when it comes to organising and arranging Christmas, try to pause, if you can, and make some time for yourself amidst the hustle and bustle. For me that is quite a lot of time alone. Whether it’s a walk on Christmas eve, sneaking off to your bedroom to read a book, or a long bath - I alway use essential oils in a bath over the Christmas period. Door locked, candles on, and 30 minutes to decompress. Box breathing is a GREAT one to try if you're starting to feel the frazzle.... take 2 mins out, breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4, breathe in again for 4 etc and repeat. Neuroscience shows us that this quick 'trick' lowers cortisol and adrenalin and helps keep us calm and sane.
- DELEGATE: Another key bit of advice for the head honcho organisers out there. It's so hard to do, but just ask for help. If you've booked a collection slot for all the festive food, then send someone else to pick it up. If you've bought 90% of the presents, then get someone else involved to help with wrapping And while you're wrapping together, stick a tune on and have a glass of something fizzy. Get someone else to peel the sprouts, snips and potatoes. Share responsibilities to lighten the load.
- COMMITMENTS: It’s okay to say no. Don’t overcommit to events and gatherings if it means stretching yourself too thin. If, like me, you KNOW that you need a lot of alone time in order to avoid meltdowns or shutdowns, then factor this into your schedule. Don't agree to events back to back if you know that it will make you feel stressed and unhappy. Learning to say no is flippin' hard, but it does make you feel so good
- SIMPLIFY: If some festive traditions bring you happiness then keep them in your plan (in our family we always visit the Eden project and we love it) but let go of those that add tension (going to busy restaurants where the staff are stressed and tired is a no for us). Simplify where you can to enjoy the festive season more. Remember you don't have to do everything. Sometimes less is more!
- ESSENTIAL OILS. Well duh, this was always going to be on the list for me. Use them around the home to infuse a feeling of calm and tranquility into the air. We have always done this, thanks to my aromatherapy roots, and I tend to have a diffuser in the kitchen / diner and the main living room. Grounding oils like Cedarwood and Ginger are great for high tension and also have a festive edge.
Right, that's my 'tips' done and I hope you all aren't starting to buckle, and if you are... don't buckle up and white knuckle ride it. Pause, stop if you can. And reset, reassess and remember it's just a few days. It really is.